Not It!

As a kid, I was almost always the last to yell "Not it!" when someone from the neighborhood suggested playing tag. I like to think it was either because I was generous and loving and didn't want the other children to have to suffer the indignity of being "it," or that I was just eager to come out of my shell, and this was a safe, easy way to draw just a tiny bit of attention to myself. It was certainly not because I spent much of my childhood in a fog, bumping into light poles and tripping over my own feet, thus increasing my reaction-to-stimulus-time to life-threatening proportions.

Anyway, I now gladly take on the yoke of "it-ness" as thrust upon me by Chris of CSquaredPlus3, VodakMom of I Need A Martini Mom and  Ellen at A Girl's Garden of Menopause. I think these are slightly different memes, as Chris tagged me with Ten Random Things, and Ellen and VodkaMom tagged me with Six Unspectacular Things. So, in the spirit of compromise, which is what I do best, I present

Eight Randomly Unspectacular Things About Me

1. Given the opportunity, I would turn into a hermit of J. D.-Salinger-like-dimensions. Not that I'd be his size. More like, his invisible-ness. Because, how many of you have any idea of what J.D. Salinger's size is? Or was? I don't even have any idea if the guy is still alive. None. The point is, I really like to stay home.

2. My first boyfriend was Timmy Blackwell. I was six years old and we were in first grade. I can remember specifically lying to my mother and saying, "I just call him that because he's a boy and he's my friend." Here's a lesson for you parents of toddlers: Children lie. A lot.

3. I have always harbored a secret wish to be one of Paul McCartney's background vocalists.

4. When I am having difficulty falling asleep, I count in my head. Some nights I make it to five hundred. Just one of those things about menopause for which I was not prepared.

5. When I look in the mirror, I am always stunned to see what I see. In my head I feel as though I am much younger, thinner, and more attractive. I kind of avoid mirrors.

6. The first time I watched It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, I started crying because all he got trick-or-treating was rocks. Plus, wouldn't that bag be awfully heavy after awhile?

7. Having a Mike's Hard Lemonade in the evening makes me feel like a lush. When did I become a Puritan? And why the hell are there buckles on my shoes?

8. I absolutely cannot stand the feel of a cotton ball. It's worse than the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard. I'm twitching here just thinking about it.

I am only going to officially tag one person, and that's Punk Rock Dad. I am having such a blast reading his blog and his comments on mine, and I'm curious about the random things a guy with a 7-inch Mohawk that eats eyeballs (the guy does, not the Mohawk) will have to share.

If anyone else wants to play along, please do!

Comments

[TennLady]

Cotton balls, eh?

Let's face it, mom knew when you were lying. She had at least 3 kids who gave her a lot more trouble. Dad knew too. He was the original wild child.

[Csquaredplus3]

Mirrors are much too intimate and revealing. They need to invent one with a filter - like a camera lense.

I'm glad you played Claire...

[Middle-Aged-Woman]

TennLady - Mom was Clueless with a capital "C"

CSquaredPlus3 - I spent WAY too much time yesterday trying to take a decent picture of myself in the mirror for this blog. I'd look in the mirror and think, "I look kind of cute today." Then snap a picture and go, "Ugh!" I still haven't decided if I'll post one.

[Chris Wood]

With you on no. 5. No idea who that fat hair bugger looking back is.

[TennLady]

Like the haircut. Why didn't ya smile?

[Middle-Aged-Woman]

Chris - English guys have a HAWT accent. It doesn't matter how you look.

TennLady - Either A)I wish to appear inscrutable, like the Mona Lisa, or B) I get all squinty-eyed and wrinkly when I smile.

[jenboglass]

Not drinking in the evening makes me feel like a Mormon.

[Middle-Aged-Woman]

jenboglass - I don't know what's up with the lush, thing. I have friends who regularly have a couple martinis and in no way would I view them as having an alcohol problem. But I swear I feel guilty if I even think about having a drink in my own house! Fortunately, I am able to overcome the guilt. Most of the time.

[Csquaredplus3]

The photo and the trees in your header look great - good decision to post one :)

[Middle-Aged-Woman]

The photo is in my bathroom, the trees are in Petoskey, MI. Gratzi!

[vodkamom]

I'm ALWAYS stunned when I look in the mirror. Who is that bitch? and where the hell am I?

[Punk Rock Dad]

I see a gauntlet has been thrown here.....Gauntlet seen and accepted.

Let me get acclimated to the correct time zone and I will respond with a post soon.

The mohawk lives on a diet of Aquanet and blowdrying....it leads a simple life you see.

[Middle-Aged-Woman]

Vodka Mom - I know exactly what you mean.

PRD - Take your time. Aquanet has biblical holding power.

[Anne]

I also was shocked with the onset of menopause. I knew it was coming - the candles on a birthday cake could have served as a landing strip for planes if I had put them all on one, but it was still a shock. How come we can't look as young as our spirits are? I can think of two good advantages of menopause - the internal heater keeps me warm in cold weather, and I can and will use menopause as an excuse for doing anything stupid or dumb from now until the day I die. "You got lost, AGAIN?" "Sorry - menopause." "You said what, to who?" "Darn that menopause!"
BTW - nice picture!!

[drwende]

A photo!

Congratulations on managing a mirror photo without gaining a demented expression. In my first 82 tries, I looked as if I was going to rend young men limb from limb and eat their succulent flesh.

The real you is younger- and better-looking than your sketched avatar.

[Middle-Aged-Woman]

Anne - personal heater is great in the winter, not so much in the summer.

DrWende - the beauty of digital cameras is the ability to immediately determine that you have done a crap job taking a picture. Add that to the inevitable self-criticism of a woman, and I'd say I took and erased 30 pix.

But thank you both for the compliments.

[Punk Rock Dad]

My homework is done, I have a note from my wife as to why it was tardy.

[Middle-Aged-Woman]

PRD - I see the 14 hours of sleep haven't dulled your senses...