Just Sit Right Back and You'll Hear a Tale...

Captain Dumbass at Us and Them was complaining, whining really, about having to post daily for thirty days for NaBlowMeMo. Which he voluntarily chose to participate in. And he normally posts, like, eighteen times per day anyway. Something about 'posts of substance' or some such nonsense.

So as usual, I came to his rescue and sent him a topic to post on, and he bravely took it up, even though talking about trans-gender surgery is intensely personal. So be sure to read it. His adorable little Asian-Canadian boys will soon have two mommies, and we'll all be calling him Princess Dumbass.

Meanwhile, he sent me the following prompt to return the favor:

"Ok, you're deserted on a... well, deserted island. Choose 5 books and 5 albums you want with you. You can assume you have something to play the 5 albums on and a steady supply of electricity. Kinda like Gilligan's Island or Robinson Crusoe, just not the new show because that is SO lame. And no pirates. Unless you want them."

I'm pretty sure there were no pirates on Gilligan's Island, but maybe that's the Canadian version he's talking about. Ginger Grant was from Medicine Hat, and the Professor was on the faculty at McGill University.

Anyway, I've been hungering to write this post since, I don't know, the middle of July when I last wrote about it. I'm feeling very free this time, though, as I have been given permission by the Captain to lie through my teeth. Onward:

(Today) Books:

1) The South Beach Diet by Arthur Agatston - Because it must be about what you eat at the beach, right? And on a deserted island, I'll be surrounded by beach. How awesome!

2) How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie - This may be the only non-military-history book my father ever read. What better time to hone my people skills than when there aren't any pesky people around?

3) Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard - What better entertainment than bad science by a guy who couldn't even manage decent science fiction, a genre in which anything is possible. Besides, you never know when Tom Cruise might show up with an auditor.

4) Bridges of Madison County by Robert James Waller - I admit it. I already read this one. But when you want time to go achingly slowly, there's nothing like a really horrendous piece of fiction. Waller is kind of like the Andrew Lloyd Weber of fiction. Wait. I take that back. At least Weber had Jesus Christ Superstar.

5) And when I am finally ready to do myself in, death by prose with Ulysses by James Joyce. Not just any edition, I want the annotated, revised, and expanded edition because I'll want to die slowly, painfully, and completely. And with very little punctuation.

(Tomorrow) Music!

Comments

[Mama Dawg]

I gotchyer back on #4. The book was horrible, the movie worse.

[Mama Dawg]

Dude, I was #1. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

[Sprite's Keeper]

That is some good posting there.
"Question. Is there firewood on this island?"

[gathering.dust]

can i just have the pirates? yum.

[TennLady]

Was the movie of #4 worse because we got to see a mostly naked OLD Clint Eastwood?

The covered bridges were nice, though!

[csquaredplus3]

Interesting book selections. Now I'm curious to checkout Princess Dumbass...

[Captain Dumbass]

I am weeping, WEEPING tears of joy and I don't know, something really happy related. The whole multi-racial, trans-gender lesbian life change was supposed to be a secret though.

[Middle-Aged-Woman]

MamaDawg - nobody loves a braggart.

Sprite's keeper - and batteries? Are there batteries for that radio?

gathering.dust - I've heard you have a little Captain Morgan in you.

TennLady - even Clint never said such horrible dialogue before.

Chris - Oh sure, "just curious" is how all this started

Captain Princess - I was waiting for a video of Connor and Liam making the announcement.

[Ms. Partly Cloudy]

HAHAHAHA, CAPTAIN PRINCESS LOL.

Also, death by prose? Could that HAPPEN to you?

[blissfully caffeinated]

Hey! Those are all of my favorite books too! I knew I liked you for a reason.

[blissfully caffeinated]

Oh yes. And thank you for the "Princess Dumbass" thing. I shall be using it gleefully.

[Paul Murray]

Not having read him -- that I know of, anyway, since he was apparently prolific enough to require pseudonyms -- but FWIW, Harlan Ellison thinks Hubbard wrote some good short stories. (Look for the YouTube clip of him talking with Robin Williams.) Not that that excuses what followed, but ...