When I was a kid, and by my definition, "kid" is anyone younger than 30, the term 'midlife' was always attached to the word 'crisis.' And it always applied to men with trophy wives or new red convertible sports cars. It never occurred to me to wonder why women were not included in this crisis, although I do recall thinking that was a good thing.
"Women must be more sensible," I thought. "They do not let themselves trade in a perfectly good spouse or car on a newer model just to make themselves feel younger. Unless they are Demi Moore."
What I did not know was that the forthcoming industry of "cosmeceuticals" would allow, nay, encourage women to spend the price of that sports car in tiny (or not-so-tiny) increments until we all feel better about ourselves.
That darn old water I use every day in the shower? Bad for my skin. Who knew? So I use a moisturizer every day on my face, and all winter on the rest of me, too. Rest-of-me moisturizers I never have to purchase. I am a teacher. I get enough Bath & Body Shop products as gifts every year to moisturize a small Island Nation. And they need it, too, after all that time in the sun.
Facial moisturizers? Holy cow! Do I want a foaming product, or a lotion? Do I want SPF? Do I want retin-A? Tinted? Soy? Anti-oxidants? (What, I'm rusting now?) Anti-wrinkle? Anti-acne? What I am looking for is Mrs. Smith's Old-Dried-Up-Raisin Preventative. With sunscreen.
The next step on the look-and-feel-better ladder is minor cosmetic procedures. My doctor's office offers Botox, Restylane, microdermbrasion, and a half dozen other treatments. Botox is my favorite idea because who doesn't want some botulism injected under their skin?
If those are insufficient, I can step up to the level of cosmetic procedures (minus the 'minor' part). Liposuction scares me, though it seems to work. I'm afraid I'd have to pose for one of those horrible 'before' and 'after' photos and wear...shudder...a thong. That's just not right. I spend a significant part of my life trying to keep my underwear out of that location. I can't see putting it there purposely.
I did have breast enhancement done, though. For free. I had two children and gained twenty-five pounds. Of course, it took a few years, and the placement is not what I hoped for, but the price was right.
