Prepping for BlogHer

You may wonder why someone who has no tickets to BlogHer would be preparing for BlogHer. Truthfully, there are two reasons:

1) I am frightfully lame when it comes to meeting new people, so rehearsal can't hurt!

2) I am hoping that the poor schlep who suddenly learns they need to bail out their brother-in-law have emergency knee-replacement surgery will see my post and pass on their now-useless tickets.

If you are going to BlogHer and I've left you out, leave me a comment, and I'll visit your blog to find out how best to suck up to you  stalk you into submission  become acquainted.

I have to start with Mary Ann, the Stiletto Mom, who has given me great advice about attending successfully.

Middle-Aged-Woman: Hey! You look a lot like Jen Lancaster. That should help when the nice officers come to move you off of her lawn! Also, you are from Texas. Do you say "Y'all?" Can I have your tickets?

Next in line is VodkaMom, whose blog is so popular, she no longer has a real name, y'all (Hi, Mary Ann!).

Middle-Aged-Woman: Those aren't your daughters, are they? Because they kind of scare me. Hey, you are one hot kindergarten teacher! Can I have your tickets?

Although I've already met Jen from Sprite's Keeper, it can't hurt to brush up a little.

Middle-Aged-Woman: Hi, Jen! Cold up here, isn't it? Hey! I know Sprite's real name! You wouldn't want that information to leak out, now, would you? Can I have your tickets?

I'll end today's post with another Jenny, the Bloggess.

Middle-Aged-Woman: Are you using that sink?

More to come, later in the week!

Comments

[gathering.dust]

You won't be lame with me around. It's impossible :-) I am loud and dramatic and everyone needs to focus on me, dammit! Should take some of the pressure off :-)

[Twenty Four At Heart]

I'm so looking forward to meeting you in person! : )

[Sprite's Keeper]

Unfortunately, MAW, everyone with access to Facebook knows the real identity to She Who Must Not Be Named. (In light of last night's scream session, Harry Potter would be wise to stick to Voldemort.)
But I can't wait to see you again! And I owe Jim the completion of a post. Did I mention this past month has been hell on time? (And on wheels. How did we get to the middle of the month so quickly?)

[Captain Dumbass]

You're off to a good start. You know how in some parts of the world you can hire mourners? Or even professional demonstrators? Why not hire an entourage? Then just barge the gates in the middle of all these people. Leave your "manager" arguing with the guards and continue on as if you own the place. Then you just disappear into the crowd.

[Husband-Styro]

MAW: You can have my tickets.
Oh - wait. I don't have any tickets.

SK: Don't sweat the "He Read / She Read" thing. I haven't written a word yet. We should just set a goal - either before or after BlogHer (That Which All Else Must Be Scheduled Around).

[AmazingGreis]

Can't wait til next week.

See you in Chicago!

[Sal]

Sigh. Wish I could be there.

[The Stiletto Mom]

HAHAHAHA! I'm gonna say Y'all over and over and over again until you want to lock me in a closet with duct tape on my mouth. (Wait...don't go getting any thoughts!)

We need to coordinate our schedules, you can use my pass for some of the sessions if you want.

PS: Let's keep this our little secret.
PSS: Oh, wait, it's now out there on the interwebz for all to see...dangit y'all!

[pamela]

You're going to BlogHer for the free drinks? And that's it? How did I miss this memo?

[Jenny, bloggess]

You are entirely unlame. See you at the party, my friend.