See, the title is a clever (very) combination of "Juggling Life" and "Throw Me a Friggin' Bone, Here," my last two tales of bouts with Modern Medicine. Since this is an up date on both, I thought I'd be clever (very), and....never mind. Just read.
The Back
My back is still kind of sucky, although there are lights on several frontiers. Those could be trains waiting to squish me into oblivion, and some days, I might well appreciate that. About ten days ago, I started physical therapy at a new place that treats only back and neck pain. I have already begun to see results, and had one morning where both my legs were entirely pain-free, which has not happened since September. Thursday, I had my second Test Procedure, a Medial Branch Block of the Lumbar area. I'm developing quite a facility with the related terminology. If this test provides relief, we will schedule two separate procedures, a left- and a right-side version of Radio Frequency Rhizotomy, during which they will use electrodes to burn the ends of the nerves that are transmitting pain to my brain. Speaking of which...
The Head
To deal with the depression, Dr. R. sent me to Dr. W., a very cool, hippie-type psychiatrist, who upped slightly my anti-depressants, and sent me to a social worker, Ms. M. to work with me on Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) a technique used both for pain sufferers and veterans with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. So you see, I am in elite company. Wednesday, she let me natter on about myself for an hour. What's not to love? Speaking of love....
The Girly Bits
Doctor Stirrrups ordered an ultrasound which showed that the object on my ovary is only a cyst. "It's not a too-mah."* That just doesn't come across when you read it, does it? And there are a few uterine fibroids, but small, so nothing to worry about. The abnormal pap came back with a result of Abnormal Squamous Cells of Unknown Source (ASCUS), so he performed an unpleasant little procedure called a colposcopy, during which little bits of me were snipped off. It was quick, at least. Dr. Stirrups is mostly unconcerned, and the procedure was a precaution. Nonetheless, I await the results for ten days. That is so not right, to make someone (ME!) wait that long (although by the time you read this post, it will only be two more days. See? That wasn't so bad, was it?).
*Amazing factoid for the day: I've never actually seen Kindergarten Cop.
