Unmitigated

Margaret Loves Me Best

I can't show you a picture of my cookware. Much like vampires and mythical hobbits, it no longer resolves on film. Or digital. Whatever. The point is, I'd be embarrassed to show you my cookware, even if I could. It's old and cruddy, and I am probably risking food-borne illness just writing about it.

Here's what I CAN show you:

That's right! It's a giveaway! CSN Futons (of course it's a futon company) has given Margaret a set of Rachel Ray cookware to give away on her blog, Nanny Goats in Panties. Extra entries are awarded for twittering about the contest, blogging about it, or for presenting Margaret with a miniature banner replica (that last one is worth 20 entries all by itself, I'm sure).

SO, in spite of the fact that there's a real chance that you could win instead of me, I am encouraging you to go there and enter. Just so you know, though, Margaret still loves me best.

ed. What kind of loser does this post without linking to Margaret's site? Mr. Freud, your slip is showing.

ed. again! After you enter the contest, come back here and see my shameful new post on PNN.com

As I Write This, I Am Planning Dessert

Recently I noticed that there were several minutes-long periods of the day in which I had nothing PC-based to do. All the mails had been read, sorted, or deleted (no, I don't need a longer unit, thankyewverymuch). Facebook photos were uploaded. My reader was empty, and nothing fascinating was happening on Twitter.

Then I remembered PNN.com. I have a new blog space there, and I am trying to do something a little different. Less personal, more topical. I'll need to troll the news headlines occasionally, and that can't be a completely bad thing, right? I'm calling it "Blogger Doesn't Begin With Mommy," a sentiment I decided was necessary to express while at BlogHer 09 in ChiTown.

I also want to use it as a venue for my attempts at photography. Maybe come Christmas, I will find a used digital SLR, but for now, it's just me and my little point-and-shoot.

Visit me at PNN.com by clicking the link under my email address. While you are there to see me, you can check out this up-and-coming youngster, who just might make it as a blogger, at Ask the Bloggess. I've been giving her tips on funny. I think she's catching on.

Today's Post Sponsored By Acme Weed Killer

When I had my first Radio Frequency Rhizotomy (or Lumbar Neuropathy, or RF Ablation, or Whack-A-Nerve, or whatever the hell you want to call it) two weeks ago, Dr. R's assistant, Mike shared this analogy, "You know how when you spray weed killer on a lawn to get rid of dandelions, then for days after the dandelions just look kind of limp? Then when you go out there one morning, they're just gone? That's how this process seems to work. The pain will still be there for some days, then one day, you'll just notice that it's gone."

Folks? I think I'm almost there. Tomorrow (Thursday), they do the left side.

P.S. Now taking suggestions on what to p*ss and moan about after the back pain is gone.

RTT: Encore!

When you have tickets for a concert, it's best to double- and triple-check the date. Jackson Browne does a great encore, that's all I'm gonna say. I feel certain Husband Styro will post more on this topic.

Middle-age is when your day brightens considerably after a long- (long, long, long...get the picture?) awaited bowel movement. TMI, I know, but it was the entire freaking focus of my day, yesterday. Ron White has a line from Drunk in Public, "Have you ever taken a cr*p so big your pants fit better?" Yes. Yes, I have. Sorry, Chickadee.

The counselor I have been seeing did wonders making me brave at BlogHer. I took with me one dozen little handmade banner replicas for the people I really wanted to meet. And every one of them? Was given away. As soon as I recognized someone like MamaSpohr, or Jennsylvania, or The Bloggess, whom I normally would have been terrified to meet, I walked right up to them and handed over the little sign of my love! And they were all really nice! I kinda wanted to keep Margaret's from Nanny Goats in Panties, because, CUTE!

I have my second "procedure" on Thursday, and it would be really, really, REALLY nice if the right side stopped throbbing before that.

Someday, I have to write more about the awesome people that work at Dynamic Neck and Back Rehabilitation. Breanna, Lori, Chanelle, Jonathan, Sabrina, Dr. Kara, you guys make an onerous task completely bearable! And I think they are all working to get their hands on my naked butt for deep-tissue massage, which they call NMT. So far, only Sabrina has not, but then again, she is the reception manager.

Go see Keely, the Un-Mom. Hugh Jackman farts rainbows at her or something.

Sunday Recovery

Ninety minutes into my drive back to Detroit, I realized I would not make it without more sleep. So, somewhere just west of Kalamazoo, Michigan, I pulled in to McDonald's parking lot to take a catnap, and slept for TWO HOURS.

Then, I looked more like this:

I beat the family getting home, and took advantage of the quiet by dumping everything in the living room and sleeping for two MORE hours. When husband and the kiddies arrived at home, the youngsters started drooling over all the swag. Here is 19-year-old-Girl, decked out in BlogHer glory:

     

The clown nose and "Born to Blog" t-shirt are from The People's Party, the tiara from Mommy Needs a Cocktail Party, and the feather boa is from BowlHer, where that bitch, Clayton from the Lifetime Network, wouldn't trade me for the blue one, even though it CLEARLY matches my eyes.

I removed the red-eye, but he still looks like the devil, doesn't he?